I Smile

Ever have one of those days where you're just feeling down?  You wake up and you wish you could just stay in bed?  Well, whenever you feel like that, just give Kirk Franklin's "I Smile" a listen.  Guaranteed to make things a little bit brighter. :) 

Assembling my "A" Team

If any of you watched the ESPYs this past week, you saw many athletes get on stage after winning their awards and thank a countless number of people.  Although it can sometimes be boring to audiences, each and every one of these people are part of the athlete's team that helped them get to where they are.

Now normally when we think of team- we think of the other players on the field- the ones with them day in and day out sweating and grinding.  But any athlete, and any family member of an elite athlete, knows that there is a team behind the team that is equally if not more important than the other players on the field.

So even though the Winter Olympics are 3 years out, I have already begun the process of assembling my "A" team- the group of people that are going to help me reach my goals.  Center and foremost on my team, is of course God.  He has brought me out of the darkness and into the light so many times and without Him I am nothing.

As for my earthly team, one of the toughest decision I faced this past season was selecting who was going to be my new strength and conditioning coach.  As I mentioned in previous blogs, I loved working with Stu McMillian and Dan Pfaff and am eternally grateful to them, but I needed a change and found that change in Brad Deweese.  As for my bobsled specific coach, I'm grateful that the federation has added Todd Hays and Mike Kohn to our already great coaching staff- and now we truly have the dream team coaching staff!

So I've also started working with a new sports psychologist and a new nutritionist, and am blessed to have Dr. Josh Glass on my team as my chiro whenever I'm in Atlanta.  I'm working to finalize the remainder of my medical staff, but I'm confident that I will have a great one going into Sochi.

However, one of the most important pieces of the team is the social aspect.  I'm blessed to have a great family who supports me in whatever I do.  They are truly the people that keep me in check- that no matter what I do- whatever medals I win- I will still have to keep my room clean.  They love me regardless of what I do- but they're my biggest fans as well.  I truly am blessed with the best family in the world.

Family is only one part of the social "A" team though.  For any athlete, friends are essential.  Sounds simple right?  People unfortunately assume just because you have a lot of twitter followers or Facebook friends- you must have a lot of friends right?  Wrong!  I know a lot of people yes, but I have very few friends.  My mother said it's a lonely road to the top- and I can't think of better words to describe it.  Friends to me are those people who I can call up and say absolutely nothing about bobsled to and they could careless.  They're those people who love me and are excited for me about what I'm doing, but love me for the person I am.  They also are some of my biggest fans, but they really don't care if I never bobsled again.  They're the people who ask me what else is going on in my life- and not just about bobsled.  They're the people who push me to want more- not just out of bobsled- but out of life.  They're the people who help me figure out my future- and share my past- and love me in spite and because all of it.  These are the people I couldn't win medals without.  

The lonely road I'm on is not simply the fault of my friends by any stretch of the imagination.  I take full responsibility for losing contact with some of the greatest people I have ever met.  I've always been a little socially awkward and therefore I've had trouble making and keeping friends.  As I've gotten older, the awkwardness has subsided slightly, but I haven't been the best at maintaining my friendships.  I desperately seek to develop genuine relationships, and am working to re-establish the friendships I've been neglecting over the years, and hopefully develop new friendships.  These people are so important to what I do, they keep me sane!  And making any Olympic team and succeeding at the highest level, requires some level of sanity lol

So there you have it- my "A" team that will take me to the next level.  Without this team, Sochi won't happen...they're the people who are going to help me try to make my dream a reality

Psych Your Mind!

Any onlooker and somewhat understand the physical training we athletes undergo.  You can see us training- running sprints, lifting heavy weights.  You can see the blood and sweat that goes into the physical training to be an elite athlete, but what you can't see is where the game is really won- in between our ears. 

Once you get to elite athlete status- the physical difference between athletes is minimal.  All the athletes have reached that level because they are the finest their sport has to offer- they are the greatest their country has to offer.  All of these elite athletes are then training hard to maximize their physical ability as much as possible.  So if you have the greatest athletes in the world physically, what makes the difference?  What makes champions vs. elite athletes who never make it to the top?  

The mental side to the game is so critical!  I've had to learn this over the years- and every day I still must work on my mental approach.  The difference between winning and losing at this level is purely mental.  Who can push themselves more to the limit- through the grueling workouts?  Who can handle the pressure when the pressure is the highest- like the Olympics?  Who can handle training full time and in our case- working as much as possible- and worrying about all other sorts of life problems- and still compete at the highest level?  Who can repeatedly face failure- yet keep their confidence?  

The last one is key.  As an athlete you compete against others, but the greatest battle is you vs yourself.  In sport you will inevitably face failure.  How you recover from that failure makes all the difference.  Will you fold and give up?  Or will you fight?  The athletes that fight and learn from their failure are the ones who will succeed.  It's not easy to do- trust- but at some point in your career as an athlete you have to look at yourself in the mirror and decide what you want to do- do you want to give up and let failure defeat you- or do you want to fight?

I had a pretty tough week mentally- my physical training was grueling and I was forced to deal with the feelings when you don't live up to your own expectations.  The week could have easily crushed my spirit- but I chose to fight...and I have grown so much as a result of this week.  I am mentally stronger because of just this one week- and therefore I am a stronger athlete.

Rookie of the Year and Colorado Springs

The USBSF (United States Bobsled and Skeleton Federation) recently held their Annual team camp in Colorado Springs at the Olympic Training Center.  There, we partake in several team building events, as well as do our workouts and have our annual board meeting.  For me, it was also my first official meetings as a member of the Board of Directors, a position I am honored to hold.  Overall it gives us a chance to get together, both bobsled and skeleton, and celebrate the past and look forward to the future.  

This year it was great seeing everyone and although the schedule was packed, I did enjoy it.  I also had the great opportunity to attend the USOC Coach of the Year awards dinner, where Brian Shimer was named the USOC Coach of the Year and Grant Schaffner, received an award as well because of his technological advances in the sport of skeleton.  It was an honor to be able to see these two well deserving individuals be recognized by the USOC.  

One other thing that occurs during this week is the Annual Gala, where several awards are given.  This year, Shauna Rohbock, one of the greatest bobsled pilots in the history of the sport, received the Women's bobsled athlete of the year as well as the Athlete's Choice award.  Additionally, Shauna teamed with Valerie Fleming to receive the Team of the Year award.  These two deserve these awards as they have greatly changed the sport of women's bobsled and are two of the greatest athletes in winter sports history.

Several other athletes received awards:  Steve Langton was named Male Bobsled Athlete of the Year and received the Athlete's Choice Award, Annie O'Shea was named Female Skeleton Athlete of the Year, and Kyle Tress received Skeleton Athlete's Choice Award.  Congrats to all the award winners!

As for me, this year I was awarded with the Rookie of the Year award!  I am truly honored to receive this award.  I honestly could not have done it first and foremost without all the brakeman who slid with me- the ones who raced- Jamie Greubel, Emily Azevedo, Megan Hill, Katelyn Kelly, JennaBree Brown,  Kristi Koplin, Katie Stoever, and Hilary Werth- as well as all the countless others who were in the sled with me to help me get the trips I needed this season.  I am truly grateful for everything you all have done for me- and I can't thank you enough.  You each have contributed greatly to any success I had this season, and to that I am eternally grateful to each of you.  Thanks guys!  I am also appreciative of the coaching staff I had this season- Mike Kohn, Brian Shimer, Janis Kippurs, Janis Skrastins, and Dave Owens- very thankful for everything- even if I didn't agree all the time.  I am also thankful to all my teammates- and especially the ones who helped coach me- including Shauna and Val- I am blessed to have great teammates- both male and female- and I couldn't have gotten through the season without any of you.  Finally, I want to thank one person who has made a world of difference in my life.  My roommate and competitor, Jazmine Fenlator.  We have been through so much together in just a few years- but she has become a great friend.  She was integral to any success I had this season.  I couldn't ask for a better teammate and friend.  She literally kept me sane most of the year, and I know in the future we will both accomplish great things.

I say all these things like I'm retiring or something!  I'm extremely grateful for everything everyone has done for me and how they have all helped me!  But you're only as good as you're last time on the ice- and I got beat by the Russians in the last race- so we've got some work to do!

Back to the grind! 

A Few Thoughts On Love

If your my friend on Facebook, by now you've realized that a good majority of my statuses refer to my love life.  Most of my statuses are meant to be funny, but some are truly emotional commentary on my thoughts about love.  I'm not artistic, and I'm definitely no song-writer or poet, so often my statuses are the only way to express my emotions; and if you know me, then you know that most of the time I react to situations with humor, even when it's inappropriate!  Sometimes, however, I do express my sorrow or frustration with this thing called love, but we'll get to that in a moment.

My love life has been quite storied.  For someone who didn't even start really dating until late high school- my first kiss wasn't until I was 20 (no lie)- my love life has been quite interesting.  I've dated many different types of men- my social-ability and love of meeting new people lends itself to that- and I've dated men with a lot of different stories.  I've learned quite a bit from the different men I've dated though, most importantly what I look for in a mate.  It's not my intention to review every single story here, but I will eventually write a book of these stories- and trust me- it will be hilarious.

So what have I learned about love?  A lot and nothing at all!  Love is the most difficult emotion. It often has no rhyme and reason, it comes without warning and when you least expect it.  It's such a strong emotion- that it can bring you to cloud 9 and also cause you to feel as though you've entered the gates of hell.  It's an emotion that is unpredictable and uncontrollable and wonderfully amazing all at the same time.  Losing love can bring your to your knees, while finding love can bring you to the highest mountain; but that's just the thing about love- you don't find love, it finds you.

Now I don't know whether there is only one great love for everyone- that there is only one person in the world you will ever truly love romantically.  I hope that we can have more than one great love, because I have been in love, and I have been out of love- more frequently out of love than in.   I have also had one great love- a love so great I still wonder if I'll ever find anything better- but that love also left me with the greatest heartbreak of my life, a heartbreak that still pains me to this day.

I have had so many ups and downs with love that despite my attempts at humor at the situation, it could be looked at as quite discouraging.  I could easily be bitter and turn cold.  But I choose otherwise.  For every love I have lost, every moment in love has made it worth the heartbreak.  I cherish every time I have been in love and would rather have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.  These loving moments have enriched my life more than any heartbreak could ever defeat me.

I'm an optimist.  I believe in the goodness of love and I believe that everyone will find love- or love will find them.  I believe that love is worth sacrificing for, and that no single cause is greater to fight for.  I believe in the power of love, and that there is love for everyone.

I'm sure my dating life will continue to be hilarious and that I'll have many more adventures- that's just who I am- and it makes life interesting.  And who knows, I may experience more love and heartbreaks, more ups and downs in this thing called love, but I know I'll cherish every moment.  And although I'm not actively looking for love, I know it will find me- and I can't wait to see what happens when it does.

I love love.

My Life As A Pro: Experiences in Pro Softball

The 2011 season of the National Pro Fastpitch league (NPF) started this afternoon  and was kicked off by a game that aired on ESPN2.  In honor of the start of the season, I wanted to take the time to talk about my experience as a professional softball player.

I had a successful career in college individually, I set many school records and won many awards, and really grew as a softball player an as an athlete.  It was always my dream to play professional softball, but despite my athletic success, I went undrafted.  In order to reach my dream, I tried out for a team located in Philadelphia- the Philadelphia Force.  I was invited to training camp with the possibility of making the team.  I trained and traveled with the team, and even played in an exhibition game against the team located in Washington DC and had my first at-bat which resulted in a walk.  I was technically living my dream and playing professional softball, however, I had not yet been named to the official team roster when other teams started calling.  I had several offers- with financial incentives greater than what I would receive as a rookie in the NPF- from teams in Italy and in Europe, but I wanted to play in the U.S.- in what I consider the best league in the world.  It was then that I received another call from a coach of the Mid-Michigan Ice- a professional team located in Midland, Michigan.  The team was not officially in the NPF- however, they played a complete NPF schedule against all the major teams, paid their athletes, and were looking to enter the league officially the next season.  The manager offered me a starting position at 3rd base.  Knowing I wasn't yet on the official roster for the Force, I went to the general manager and asked him what my prospects of making the full roster were and what my future looked like.  When he wasn't able to give me an exact answer, I packed up my car and left training camp and drove straight to Michigan.  

I arrived the next day and drove straight to the field, where everyone was receiving their uniforms.  I met everyone, and took the field with the team for the first time.  Despite not knowing anyone or what was going to happen, I was at ease because I felt I was living my dream.

What happened over the remainder of the season was anything but what I could have imagined.  I started at 3rd base and played against some of the top athletes in the world.  I had success but also tasted defeat and learned hard what it was like to play softball at the highest level.  I was truly a rookie, and was now facing athletes that had played the sport at the highest level.  I started the season off hot- hitting well and excelling, but when I hit a slump- which is quite normal for a rookie in the pro league- it was up to myself to try to pull myself out of it.  I had the toughest time pulling myself out and continued to struggle.  Additionally, my coach didn't help my situation, and my confidence continued to sink- making the slump even worse.  

As if my on-the-field problems weren't bad enough, in the middle of the season our owner filed for bankruptcy and quit, and our coach quit with him.  Did I mention we were on a road trip in Lowell, Massachusetts, when all this happened?  Not knowing how we would get home, we still had our series to finish out.  We finished out the series not knowing what would happened, and made the long trip back to Michigan.  

Luckily, the NPF decided we were still of value.  The league "adopted" our time and paid our salaries for the remainder of the season and all of the other expenses related to a professional softball team.  A new coach was put in place and we continued to play.  Unfortunately, the new coach and I completely clashed heads, so my personal performance continued to slump.  

I still believed in myself as a professional softball player.  I had had success, including hitting a homerun against one of the top pitchers in the league (pretty big deal for me- as I was not a homerun hitter- I only had 7 in 5 years of college softball and 2 of them were in the park!) and made some pretty good defensive plays in the field.  I also ended the season on a good note- a pretty good series against none other than the Philadelphia Force, where the general manager actually complimented me on my performance and said they had viewed me as a threat; followed by a road series in Akron where I performed well.  Although this boosted my confidence, it was too little too late and I ended the season discouraged and completely burned out of softball.  

The season ended and I packed my bags to return home and start grad school and my position as a graduate assistant.  Although I felt burned out from softball, I felt like I had so much more unfulfilled athletic potential- which led me to bobsled, and the rest is history....

Although I did not have the experience I hoped for athletically playing professional softball, I did meet many great people and have the opportunity to play against some of the top athletes in the world.  I am truly blessed to have had this opportunity, and I'm grateful for it.  My feeling of being burned out from softball caused me to withdraw and lose touch with many of the friends I made during that time, but I still cherish those moments.  I met so many great people and had some truly memorable experiences that will last a lifetime.

I often get asked if I'll ever play softball again.  I love the game- it was after all my first love- and you never forget your first love.  I believe I never reached my full potential in the game, and strongly believe I can pick the game back up and be better than I ever was before- I'm a much better athlete at this point of my life than I was 4 years ago.  Although I haven't been playing the last few years- I've stayed in the game as much as possible by coaching and giving hitting and pitching lessons.  I've had offers to play internationally, which have come with some pretty good financial incentives as well.  However, at this point of my life, softball seems to conflict with my bobsled goals.  I would love to find a way to play both, but for now my focus is on Sochi 2014 and my current relationship with bobsled.  Maybe one day I'll be able to return to my first love of softball, but for now, I'm perfectly happy as a bobsledder.

Getting Back in Shape

After the season finished this year, I was mentally and physically spent.  From October to April I was on the ice, sliding and pushing hard and trying to learn how to drive.  Not only was I on the ice for a long time this season, I also started training for the past season in May and barely took any time off.  Additionally, I was traveling and trying to make the most of winning an Olympic medal- which meant quite a few appearances and special events.  Needless to say I was exhausted.  I went home after the season and did a few appearances but mostly tried to rest (although I had quite a bit of unexpected physical labor waiting for me thanks to my parents lol).  I relaxed as much as possible and also finished up my graduate degree.  In total- I took about a total of 5 weeks off.

After those much needed 5 weeks were over, I returned back up here to Lake Placid to start training again. I was out of shape and had put on quite a bit of weight (I naturally weigh more than my in-season competition weight).  Now- out of shape is relative though.  Was I still in pretty good shape for your average person?   Yes, but was I in shape to push a 400lb bobsled down an icy track to one of the fastest push times in the world and then undergo 7-8 Gs of pressure down the track?  No way!  So now I have begun the journey of getting back in shape.

Believe it or not- getting back in shape is one of the most humbling things.  The workouts at the beginning of a training program are difficult.  After the first day, it gets harder and harder to do things like walk up stairs, lift your arms to brush your teeth, and even get out of bed!  You shuffle around so you can minimize the need to lift your feet because it hurts so bad!  Workouts make you want to throw up and you find yourself tired all the time.  It's quite a humbling experience.  Despite the fact that you've achieved one of the highest accomplishments in your sport, you can still be brought to your knees by the pre-season training.

I think this time is necessary for every elite athlete.  Not just the getting in shape part, but the mental part that comes with getting back in shape.  You have to push yourself beyond your limits.  Acknowledge the existence of pain, and then overcome it.  And then wake up again the next day and put your sore and tired body through even more workouts!  It forces you to bear down mentally and challenge yourself, because you know at the end of the day it's these workouts that result in gold medals.  At the end of the day, the mantra to get you through the pre-season training is always the same, "It's not where you start, it's where you finish."  I strongly believe what I put in today will result in a season I can be proud of.  So for now, I'll push past the nauseousness, the soreness, and the pain.  Happy training!