I got caught. On the big screen. I was sitting in first place in the race in Lake Placid, with one sled, Kaillie Humphries, remaining to go. During the run for the last sled, the current leader sits in the winners box and watches the next sled go down while the cameras stay on you. My fiancé was yelling at me to smile--- I didn't hear him, so I got caught. Not only did I get caught, my moment was replayed on the big screen during the award ceremony for everyone to see, just in case you missed it during the race. I hoped it didn't show, but I was caught red-handed and now it was on display for everyone to see. I was unimpressed.
What do I mean that I was unimpressed? I was in second place! I was a silver medalist at another world cup to cap off what was an incredible first half of the season for me. So why was I unimpressed? It had nothing to do with Kaillie or her run, or where I finished in the race, it had everything to do with being disappointed in my run and how I performed. It's a weird thing to admit to and something people don't often understand- "You got second- how can you be disappointed?!?" But I wasn't disappointed at the outcome, I was disappointed because I knew I could drive better and I knew I could push faster. I am an athlete who seeks perfection, I seek perfect mind blowing push times and perfect drives down the track. I am constantly analyzing and striving to be a better bobsledder, especially a better driver. Part of the reason I am a driver is because I love the pursuit of this perfection and I love pushing myself to be better. Don't get me wrong, I want to win medals- of course every athlete does- but at the end of the day I want to walk away from the track knowing that I executed my runs as best as I could, that I had the best runs I've had during the race where it counts the most. I didn't do that in Lake Placid, so I was disappointed, I'm just usually a lot less obvious about it when I am.
The key is what happens after that disappointment. Sure I sulked a little and analyzed what I did wrong, but what's most important to me is that I learn something from it. No amount of post-race chocolate can make me feel as good as learning something from a less than desirable result. As I mentioned earlier, the outcome was more than desired, the drive just wasn't. So it was my opportunity to learn something, and from that race I did learn quite a bit.
I've been disappointed plenty of times in my career and I'm sure there are more disappointments to come. In a sport where perfection seems continuously out of reach, it's hard not to feel disappointed at times, but the most important thing is to learn from it. Every day, every run, and every race, I'm learning. As long as I keep my mind open to learn from the successes and the disappointments, I'll eventually get where I'm trying to go- I'll have that perfect run. Hopefully, the face I make then will be caught on tv as well.
What do I mean that I was unimpressed? I was in second place! I was a silver medalist at another world cup to cap off what was an incredible first half of the season for me. So why was I unimpressed? It had nothing to do with Kaillie or her run, or where I finished in the race, it had everything to do with being disappointed in my run and how I performed. It's a weird thing to admit to and something people don't often understand- "You got second- how can you be disappointed?!?" But I wasn't disappointed at the outcome, I was disappointed because I knew I could drive better and I knew I could push faster. I am an athlete who seeks perfection, I seek perfect mind blowing push times and perfect drives down the track. I am constantly analyzing and striving to be a better bobsledder, especially a better driver. Part of the reason I am a driver is because I love the pursuit of this perfection and I love pushing myself to be better. Don't get me wrong, I want to win medals- of course every athlete does- but at the end of the day I want to walk away from the track knowing that I executed my runs as best as I could, that I had the best runs I've had during the race where it counts the most. I didn't do that in Lake Placid, so I was disappointed, I'm just usually a lot less obvious about it when I am.
The key is what happens after that disappointment. Sure I sulked a little and analyzed what I did wrong, but what's most important to me is that I learn something from it. No amount of post-race chocolate can make me feel as good as learning something from a less than desirable result. As I mentioned earlier, the outcome was more than desired, the drive just wasn't. So it was my opportunity to learn something, and from that race I did learn quite a bit.
I've been disappointed plenty of times in my career and I'm sure there are more disappointments to come. In a sport where perfection seems continuously out of reach, it's hard not to feel disappointed at times, but the most important thing is to learn from it. Every day, every run, and every race, I'm learning. As long as I keep my mind open to learn from the successes and the disappointments, I'll eventually get where I'm trying to go- I'll have that perfect run. Hopefully, the face I make then will be caught on tv as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment